Right around this time of year, my savings is nearly depleted and I start thinking about next year's tax refund. It's what funds my savings all year and lets me pay for all of Aziza's activities, apparel, and new clothes every season. Clothes from last year are like leftovers for her - she's not a fan of either. So yeah, that tax refund is my yearly sustenance, my safety-net, it's how I don't totally bury myself in credit card debt. Not to say I don't have my fair share of it, but I make it manageable. Always looking for the 0% balance transfer for 18+ months so I can pay them off interest free. It's inevitable really, debt that is. I mean, all of it, is definitely a lot for one person to pay for, and I do think Aziza has started to understand that when she tells me she wants something and then says, "I know I can't have it, it's too expensive." That's when I try to figure out a way to pay for it, without it hurting the budget. I can't always do that, but I want to when I see she's developing an understanding of money.
I've done my best with never receiving child support from her father, and even though it would have helped many times, I was always grateful to be free of the need for it, or the entanglement that goes along with trying to always get the other parent to pay it. I heard so many stories of women struggling to get the fathers to pay support. And yes, there is equal time for deadbeat parents. Along the dating trail, I spoke to many single fathers who supported the children exclusively, as the mother just up and left. At one time, I was very naive thinking that it was always the father that left but not so. Either way, the struggle with managing money is essentially your second job after parenthood. The job that provides the paycheck comes in as number three, believe it or not.
I became very cautious with money, never trying to go outside the budget. My whole life became this budget that I had to squeeze everything into and most of the time, I was just meeting the bills with nothing left over to save. You see why that tax return is such an asset? With it we can take a vacation, I can fix the car when it needs it. If there is one thing I learned being a single mother, you must take care of the car. You must have a safe vehicle to take your kids wherever they need to go, to go to work, take them to school, the doctor, grocery story... it's endless. Maintaining the car is probably up there in the top 5 necessary jobs.
I have to keep a close eye on fluctuations in bills, like Time Warner who loves to increase your bill at their whim. Just today I spent 30 minutes on the phone with them negotiating why my bill would be more expensive for 2 services instead of 3. It's remarkable how they keep you from canceling services, unless you are lucky enough to dump them altogether. The outcome today was that miraculously they found another triple play bundle (cable, internet, phone) with faster internet and an additional set of movie channels. Just amazing how they were able to pull that out of their hat when I said I'd be canceling the phone service. What I've discovered with Time Warner is that they are very aggressive in obtaining new customers but the ones that have been with them 15+ years, they can somewhat take advantage of. Unless of course someone like me calls them on it, saying what terrible business practices they have and how they are essentially ripping off their long-standing customers who do not have the option to go to dish service. Wow, someone stop me because I can go on! lol Anyway, I was triumphant today. They did not succeed in raising my bill $20 more a month. They raised it $6 and I got faster internet and more channels. I still have the damn phone which is my source of contention when both Aziza and I have cell phones with good service. Just insane the hoops we have to jump through sometimes.
In a nutshell, watch your spending! Money going out must not exceed money coming in. I know I sound like a Republican when I say curb spending but it should only be necessary purchases until all bills are paid, or at least accounted for. If there's money still in the tax refund savings account (in my case), or money left over from the budget, indulge in some treats for you and your children. You deserve it!
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