Ode to co-existing

So now that Aziza is old enough to know that Santa is really just a figment of her imagination, I've been feeling more inclined to celebrate Hanukkah the last couple of years, since I am half Jewish. I'm on my second menorah. The first was very pretty, gold finish, and required those very, very slender candles that you put in and burn every night. I liked that one but the candles burned so quickly and then it was over. My new one with pretty blue lights stays lit while a new light is turned on each of the eight nights. I wanted Aziza to embrace the story of the lamp oil lasting eight nights, and if that did happen, it was quite a miraculous event.
 
So this year, we have a Christmas tree because that's what she knows from her Santa days, and we have our menorah. Incidentally, I said to Aziza the other night, "Listen, you will get one big present on Christmas day and then one gift every night of Hanukkah." Wow! If I didn't just tell her they stopped making peanut butter... she went crazy, saying "What?? I don't care about being Jewish, I'm not religious, that's your thing." I was floored at her outburst, stemming from the fact that she is pissed she won't get all her gifts on Christmas, and I responded with, "Well, what do you think Christmas is? If that's the case, and you don't care about religion, we should take the tree down right now and forget Christmas too." She was like, "Yeah, but the Christmas tree is for the aesthetic of the season, and honestly, it didn't matter to me if we had it or not."
 
She is so funny! She begged me to put up a Christmas tree this year after we only did Hanukkah last year and she said it was SO boring. I agreed even though I knew the cats would terrorize it, which they have done quite successfully. But it makes no difference how logical I think I'm being, she finds her way to one-up me with her own invented logic. Basically, I'm discovering my daughter is one of those "my way or the highway" people. Great! *says sarcastically* I think it's the invincibility of a teenager that makes them think that everything should just automatically go their way. Wow, rude awakening on life's horizon! I'm still moving forward with the one gift a night for eight nights. Let her learning process begin!

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and Happy Festivus!

It's time to graduate - FINALLY! :D

It's been a while since I've checked in. Been insanely busy and focused on finishing this semester and graduating. It's finally near and in sight. As a matter of fact, tonight I take my last final exam and as of tomorrow I am officially graduated from SUNY Delhi with my bachelor's in criminal justice. It has been a long time coming. Having gone back to school the first time in 2009 to finish my associates, and then swearing I'd never return, I developed a change of heart when I received a brochure in the mail that catapulted my decision to go back to school and enroll in the bachelor of science program in September 2014.

I didn't do it like so many others and finish college after high school. I tried, I went to Queens College, John Jay College and then finally succumbed to Nassau Community College, but life and its unfortunate circumstances in my 20s pulled me away from school, and from knowing what I wanted to do or who I wanted to become. I literally drifted for about ten years until Aziza snapped me back and made me realize I deserved more, and I am more, and for her I'd be a role model to finish what you start. And hey, I've been on the Dean's list so many times, she's tired of hearing about it. ;) But that's what it's all about: working hard for something and getting it done. As school ends, I'll be gunning for a new position with the county or one with NYS. I'm pretty confident I'll be on a career path that makes much more sense very soon.

I'm glad it's holiday time but nostalgic for a time when I'd hide all of Aziza's gifts until the night before Christmas, so of course the ruse of Santa arriving with her gifts while she slept would play out. It was so much fun when she believed it all. Now, there is some surprise but she knows it all comes from mom, and instead of making a list for Santa, the list is for me. :)


Wishing everyone a very happy holiday season!